JACK AND JILL
zero (out of 5)
November 11, 2011
Adam Sandler as JACK/JILL
Al Pacino as HIMSELF
Katie Holmes as ERIN
Eugenio Derbez as FELIPE
Nick Swardson as TODD
Directed by: Dennis Dugan
BY KEVIN CARR
Listen to Kevin’s radio review…
Before I start what is sure to be an epic onslaught of hatred and venom for Adam Sandler’s latest splatter of guano on American movie screen, I want to get one thing straight. I used to like the guy. I used to think he was pretty funny on “Saturday Night Live,” and I actually find his earlier films like “Billy Madison,” “Bulletproof” and “Happy Gilmore” to be guilty pleasures.
Even when he started to grow as an actor and performer, he’s done what I consider to be decent work. “Punch Drunk Love” showed a depth and range for Sandler as an actor, and even the juvenile “Bedtimes Stories” was a relatively cute family film.
But lately, Sandler has been churning out awful films like a herd of cattle churns out manure. His latest films like “Grown Ups” and “Just Go With It” are painful to watch. To make things worse, he’s branched out into producing films with his buddy Kevin James, the latest of which was “The Zookeeper,” in the running for my 10 Worst Films of 2011 list.
Still, Sandler has hit a new low with “Jack and Jill.” This isn’t something like “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” which wasn’t great but had some surprisingly fun moments in it. Instead, this is a thoroughly unfunny premise which went out of style thirty years ago. It feel as if some studio boss demanded to find something to compete with Tyler Perry’s films, and an underling screamed, “Adam Sandler as a fat girl!” Thus, this film quite possibly was born.
The story is colossally stupid. Sandler plays dual roles as Jack, a commercial director, whose overbearing twin sister Jill comes to visit for the holidays. She, of course, overstays her welcome, but Jack can’t kick her out because for some reason, she’s caught the eye of Al Pacino, and Jack needs him to star in his latest commercial.
That’s really it. Nothing more complex that this. This moronic premise is strung together with a sticky assortment of poorly-written jokes delivered with the passion of a sloth on weed, terrible one liners from people and birds alike and a predictable bowel-tearing bathroom scene that doesn’t even play funny to me… and I freaking love bathroom humor.
“Jack and Jill” doesn’t even try to do anything well. Even the elements of filmmaking are poorly executed with choppy editing, inconsistent timing and logic holes arguably larger than Sandler’s paycheck for this crime against humanity.
Every cliche from the tired plot angles (i.e., a man playing a woman and the same actor playing twins) is exhausted with no finesse whatsoever. You want digital trickery to see two versions of Sandler in the same shot? It’s there. You want the guy falling inexplicably in love with the ugly girl? That’s there too. You want the guy dressing up to look like his own sister? Yup, that’s also in the film.
This movie is a serious threat to its own audience. Some lines are so horrible – and horribly delivered – that I honestly thought I was suffering a stroke. Others are so dull and boring that the audience risks slipping into a coma. In fact, during the big introductory scene with the entire family around the Thanksgiving table, I was so disinterested in the characters that I paid more attention to the food on the table than the people around it.
“Jack and Jill” is quite possibly the worst film Sandler has made in his career, and keep in mind that I’ve seen “Little Nicky” and “Reign Over Me.” It plays out like a sorry premise for the last SNL skit of the night, sandwiched between the final musical spot and the end credits, only making it to screen so the show can stretch to 1 a.m. Not since “The Love Guru” have I seen a film that was such an lazy, unfunny, utter failure in entertainment of all forms.