MADER'S 'BRANTS Alexander November 30, 2004 - Kevin wrote a very good review hitting on all the flaws of this film so there is no real need for me to rehash them. The only thing he didn’t hit on was the historical inaccuracies. One thing Stone did get right was that there was in fact a guy named Alexander from Macedonia and...ummmmm...well it pretty much ends there. Supposedly there was a team of advisors for the film from archeologists to historians. God where did they get their degrees? One of these wastes of skin was Robin Lane Fox. You might remember Robin from such stellar accomplishments as the weekly gardening correspondent for the Financial Times. Supposedly this yahoo is a fellow of New College, Oxford and a University Reader in Ancient History. Clearly reading it and then explaining it so Oliver Stone can grasp it and put it on screen are two different issues. This may explain why this guy is working on advising films and not teaching. If this is what passes for the cream of academia at Oxford, it’s amazing that they have ever graduated someone that could tie their own shoes let alone go out and be functional member of society. Simply put, Mr. Fox must be shot. Someone do the deed and just send me an email and let me know it’s done. To paraphrase Monty Python: “There will be much rejoicing” Now you are wondering why this has my boxers all in a bunch. It’s simple, really. Hollywood has a way of taking really good stories from history and totally trashing them. If you’re going to do that, why even bother attaching historical figures to the film? Why not just make a movie called “Bob the Great”? But noooooooooooooooooo! They took the tale of a man that conquered the known world by the time he was 32 and not only made it horribly inaccurate, but worse than that, they made it boring with no entertainment value at all. It’s one thing to lie to me, but never bore me. Could the writing and the acting have been any worse? Then they spent 155 mil to make it and then another 66 mil to market it. So now it’s not only inaccurate and boring but for what ya got on the screen it cost way too freaking much and I can’t even figure out what the money was spent on! AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!! I could go on, but I won’t. If you want to know the real story behind Alexander the Great, try the following books by these authors: Arrian aka Lucius Flavius Arrian: Born a Greek civil servant in 95 AD he wrote Campaigns of Alexander (probably around 125 AD or later). Not a bad read. He had access to source material from the men that actually had been there, like Ptolemy’s autobiography, Arisobulus, or Alexander’s fleet admiral Nearchus. (Read Arrians Indica. For more info on the “Admiral”) It’s all material that no longer exists today except in bits and pieces. Arrian’s only flaw is that he is Greek and as such he tends to gloss over some of the less flattering details. Basically he does his best to make Alexander look like a saint except when he has absolutely no choice. Quintus Curtius Rufus (my boy!): A Roman Senator, he wrote the earliest surviving complete history of Alexander, The History Of Alexander (30 AD or so), again using first-person source material. The big difference between he and Arrian is that Curtis has nothing to prove or disprove. He was simply writing a book that explains to his fellow Roman officers the strengths and weaknesses of Alexander’s style. Think of it as a training manual. He hasn’t any national pride to defend so he doesn’t hide the ugly details like Arrian does. An example of this would be the slaughter at Tyre. Arrian doesn’t really touch on it and when he does he makes Alexander look like a humanitarian. Curtius looks at the same event and also happens to mention that about 8000 people where killed during the battle for the city. Then another 2000 unarmed people where killed after the battle was over. You can imagine why Arrian, as a Greek, might have failed to mention that. Diodorus of Sicily: Born around 80 BC, he was a Greek historian that wrote The Library of History. Think of it in the same terms as Herodotus...sort of. In any case, he covers the Asian section of Alexander’s campaign with details others miss. Finally for what little “first person” information does exist, try The History of Alexander the Great I. It is a compendium of whatever has been found and was written by C.A. Robinson Jr. (Mom, if you’re reading this, XMAS is coming...) Later, Mader