MADER'S 'BRANTS Scott Peterson, Yasser Arafat and other global morons November 24, 2004 - Scott Peterson was found guilty of bumping off his wife and unborn child Friday. Ya have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to know because the cable news stations carried the story for 9 hours straight. From 3:00 in the afternoon till 12:00 midnight it was parade of experts. Just an aside: A lot of the lawyer chicks are hot. Smart and hot...in suits and heels and hose with their hair up...grrrrrrr! Anyhow... It seems that the defense argument that Laci had been killed by the same alien, mutant, terrorist, ninjas that killed Nichol Brown Simpson didn’t hold up with the jury. Of course the judge seemed to spend a lot of time replacing any juror that might have found Scott innocent. The courts in Cali are very efficient. The general public seemed happy. Laci and Conner can rest in peace and the alien, mutant, terrorist, ninjas can continue their campaign of death and destruction against humanity with impunity. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Some day Johnny Cochran and Mark Geragos will be vindicated and then won’t we all feel foolish? Yasser Arafat headed for the big PLO training camp in the sky. After multiple attempts on his life over the years he finally kicked at the age of 75. Ya can dodge the Mossad but not the reaper. Apparently this was a bit of a shock for the Palestinians that, by all accounts, must have thought the man was going to live to be 200. Trust me, the Israelis would never have let that happen. This was the same kind of shock felt by people when a ninetysomething Reagan died and an eightysomething Marlon Brando kicked. They were old people. Death happens to old people. What’s the big surprise here? I have always felt the Palestinians have gotten a raw deal from the landing of the Exodus on. Marshall put it best when he said to Truman, “What the fuck are you thinking?” Sympathy aside, people in the Middle East do some stunningly moronic things. Do I need to explain the sheer stupidity of shooting guns in the air in the middle of a large crowd? Any of my readers not understand the fundamentals of gravity? Anyone? Anyone at all? Okay, now one of you readers in that part of the world explain it to the moron with AK47 that thought his cousin was shot by a mystery sniper during the funeral. Apparently these folks come from the same gene pool as people that burn their own stuff during riots and Detroit Piston fans. Note to self: Self, stupid people are a global problem not just a domestic one. Later, Mader