MADER'S 'BRANTS Beheading People June 25, 2004 - So terrorist are now cutting off people's heads. Ya have to wonder who comes up with these ideas. Was there an Al-Queda staff meeting one morning? Head honcho: Well guys, we aren’t having much success getting rid of the Americans and democracy here in the Middle East. What should we do? Flunky #1: We could ask them to leave. Flunky #2: Naw, talking never works. We need something drastic! Flunky #3: Well ya know guys, when I went to college in the US, I studied Marketing and PR as an exchange student. We learned that you need to really make an impression. Problem is we don’t have any money to make commercials or buy air time. Head honcho: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Flunky#2: I know! We can use the internet. Its works for porn and that MoveOn.org site. Why not us? Flunky#3: That’s it, and we can do speeches and write articles and argue our side as to why we are right. Flunky#1: No! We need to something catchy with a jingle or something. Can anyone here write music? Head honcho: Or we could just cut off people’s heads. (All together): Praise be to Allah. That’s brilliant. Head honcho: And it’s cheap to. We don’t have pay union rates to the talent we kill, or even pay for music rights. If we do it right, we can license products and sell t-shirts. Can I get a “harrumph”? (All together): harrumph, harrumph, harrumph Ya see folks, when I see stuff like this happening, it makes me ill. Not only the act itself and the thought process behind it, but also all the other crap that goes with it. You have people that say this never would have happened if we hadn’t abused prisoners in Iraq or if we hadn’t supported Israel all these years or if we hadn’t bought oil from the Arabs or pick a hundred other excuses. Reality is these cretins would use any reason to be barbaric. Hell, if it wasn’t Abu Grahib it would have been because the Lakers lost to the Pistons. They are animals. Now liberals will cry because we didn’t prevent it from happening. But then when the army does something, they cry because the army is too mean. Soooo then they cry we should bring the army home, somehow forgetting that we have been attacked repeatedly since the early 90s and these people declared war on us not the other way around. But since liberalism is a form of brain damage, they also complain because the government didn’t have a crystal ball and stop the World Trade Center from falling. In short, some people are just going to bitch no matter what you do because they only live to complain. In fact, ya know why people on the left are called liberals? ‘Cause ‘whiney little bitches’ would be too many syllables for ‘em. Ya know what? Fuck everybody! Let’s nuke the whole Middle East. Start with Israel, ‘cause they haven’t been able to get their shit together for 50 years. It is in part their lack of civilized behavior and inability to share that helped cause this mess. Then work our way east. Stop when we hit India, ‘cause we need them to run our 24-hour computer help lines. Now your thinking I’m joking. But lets face it, there comes a point when no matter what you do, people are going to hate you. The world is irked with us now, so what’s the difference? In fact, depopulating the Middle East would solve a lot of problems. It would reduce overpopulation and eliminate hunger ‘cause we could just redistribute the food they were using to the folks that are hungry. Getting rid of all those cars would reduce pollution. Oil prices would drop because we could go and pump our own without the middle-man gouging us. The list of perks is endless! So the rest of the world will be mad at us, but they are already. At least the problem would be permanently solved. As far as I can tell, it’s a win-win scenario all the way around. Later, Mader