MADER'S RANTS The Freeway Sniper March 19, 2004 - They caught the I-270 highway sniper. HAZZA!!!!!! For our European readers - and the stunningly self-involved, oblivious ones here in the states - for the past year, we in Columbus have had our own personal loon shooting randomly at motorists. Twenty-four incidents in all. The victims included several cars, a few houses, a school and sadly a 62-year-old woman. This event and the events surrounding it is an interesting case study in the human condition. The shooter, Charles McCoy Jr., was the cliché single white male living alone with a history of mental disorders. He was so paranoid that he was convinced that the electrical appliances in his parents home where actually surveillance tools used by the FBI too keep tabs on him. His friends and neighbors say he never caused any problems and kept to himself. He bowled and spent hours in his parents basement playing video games. By all accounts, an unremarkable person living an unremarkable life. It’s always the lone loony that does this kinda stuff. By now, you would think that we all would know to be leery of the loner, quiet, never hurt any one, does nothing but play video games and jacks off in the corner single white male. Somehow, we aren’t, though. For some strange reason, we always see the people on TV going “I never would of guessed it was him... blah blah blah...” How did this man with a history of mental illness get a hold of a gun in the first place? I’m not talking new gun laws here. I’m asking what happened to the enforcement of the ones we have? Or worse, if he got the gun in question from a family member, what does that say about their judgment? What person in their right mind says, “Gee, Chuck. You seem to have been off your meds lately. You keep pulling the wings off flies, and you threw out the toaster because you said it was stalking you. you threw out the blender because it was making sordid comments about your ass. Here, take my 9mm pistol and go target shooting.” Part of the problem here isn’t just Mr. McCoy. Part of the problem is the people that surrounded him. Then you had the obligatory media coverage. “Crisis I-270 sniper coverage at 6:00 and 11:00.” Few things in life are more entertaining than watching a reporter talk for three minutes when they really have no new facts to report. Yet, somehow they fill the air time. These are the kids in high school and college that could write a 20-page dissertation, single space in 10 point font, on the importance of Apple Cider on the Early American Social Economic Structure from 1810 to 1840 with nothing more for source material than a one paragraph entry in an Encyclopedia Britannica! The other thing that strikes me is how people personalize everything. I live in Columbus, and I can tell you from first-hand experience that people literally changed their driving habits to avoid being shot. This would make sense if not for the fact the shootings where random, not in only time but location. It would even make more sense if Columbus was a small town with one stop light. (It’s not, by the way.) We are a population of around 1.2 million people. There had only been 12 incidents reported when this story broke. Think about it. We are the 15th largest city in the country. Twelve shootings then evolved to 24. One death out of how many incidents? What are the statistical odds that you or your vehicle might get shot at? Something like 1 in 50,000. (Note: My math skills suck, so let’s just use it for the sake of argument.) I mean, come on. If somebody told you that if you walked down the street you had a chance of 1 in 50,000 to be hit by a meteor, would you look up? Would you even give it a second thought? Probably not. Though, we collectively as a society tend to live in fear. It’s why I get stripped searched at the airport. On the other hand while this was getting national attention, neither I nor any one else I know ever got a call from a “concerned” friend or relative living in some other part of the country going, “Hey, are you okay?” It speaks a lot about the level of self involvement people have. Consider that next time you are in real deep doggy do. Who would really come to bail you out? I did get a really cool idea from a friend. When they put McCoy’s whacked-out carcass in a car in Vegas for extradition, let every one know when he is leaving to head back to Columbus for his arraignment. Anyone that wants one gets one free shot from the over pass of their choice. If he makes it allllllllllllll the way back to Columbus alive, he can go free. Judge Judy can kiss my vengeful martini-swilling ass. That’s real justice! Later, Mader