DIVISION III: FOOTBALL’S FINEST
MOVIE: ** (out of 5)
BLU-RAY EXPERIENCE: *** (out of 5)
BY KEVIN CARR
I’m not a football fan, but I do like myself a raunchy comedy now and then. So I was a bit intrigued when I saw the announcement for “Division III: Football’s Finest.” The story follows a minor college with a division III football rating as they try to built up their team and become champions. This is accomplished by hiring a legendary and infamous has-been coach with serious mental and physical problems.
Andy Dick is the star of the film, playing the coach and looking alarmingly old in the process. But this doesn’t stop Dick from doing whatever he can to get a laugh, even if it’s terribly embarrassing and doesn’t end up getting one. But rest assured, Dick fans, you’ll see plenty of his in this raunchy college comedy… if you’re into those kinds of things.
Ever since “Animal House” and other seminal college comedies became huge moneymakers, filmmakers large and small have tried to cash in on the same thing. You’ll notice some jokes from better films like “Revenge of the Nerds” thrown in, but I will give the filmmakers credit that there’s some original content in the movie.
How much you’ll like this movie directly depends on how much you like Andy Dick. If you’d go to one of his stand-up shows, facing the danger of being groped or urinated on, you’ll probably enjoy this. He is the only thing that gets any laughs in the film, after all.
But the rest of the film is shaky at best. It doesn’t help that writer/director Marshall Cook cast himself as the lead quarterback. I understand the need to do this sometimes for an independent film because some actors cannot be reliable or controllable. However, there’s at least a part of this production that hints at this decision giving him a chance to lock lips with the pretty but pointless love interest, played by Alison Haislip.
Everyone else in the cast is almost entirely forgettable, with a few exceptions of comedy cameos by people like Adam Carolla, Will Sasso and Debra Wilson.
There’s really nothing terribly offensive about “Division III: Football’s Finest,” and that plays against it, actually. But it’s at least one of the more coherent things that Andy Dick has done in recent years.
The Blu-ray includes and audio commentary by Dick and Cook, as well as a slew of outtakes and deleted scenes.